Conviction. i don't like it. Especially whenever it involves me, which it always does. But, having put my trust in Christ, i must allow for it. It is necessary if God is going to use me, if He is going to change me to become more like Jesus. Have you seen the movie "Voyage of the Dawn Treader"? There is a scene where Eustice is turned into a dragon and toward the end of the movie he meets Aslan for the first time. He begins to scratch at his scales, not liking who he has become and wanting the hard callouses to be gone. Aslan changes him back to a young boy, and he later shares with his cousins that what Aslan did kinda hurt, but it was a good kind of hurt. i guess that's kinda of the process i'm in right now...
Man, i hate it whenever God begins to do something in my life. It hurts sometimes, but in order for God to create me into who HE wants me to be, it is necessary. So, the journey i have been on this past year or so has been a difficult one. i have felt Jesus telling me that i have grown to love stamping (and other things) more than i love Him. And after really searching my heart, it is true. Ouch! My desire to be in the stamp room, on the computer, and create has grown to where i enjoy that MORE than i enjoy sitting with my Lord. i have grown to prefer that, and that has been a hard mouth to swallow.
So, where does that take me? i'm really not sure at this time. As we have been reading in the Old Testament about all of Isreal's idols, this has become an idol for me. So now what? How can i enjoy a talent God has gifted me with and not let it be an idol? Do i destroy it completely like the Isrealites had to? Do i try to find a balance? i don't know. And that's where i'm at. Still waiting on the Lord. i am so glad He is patient with me.
So, in the midst of all my "inner termoil", i do have a little something, something to share. Here it is...
TTFN,Debi
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